Butt Rash

I never imagined receiving a call about butt wiping but that's exactly how my night ended.

I was cruising along in my new truck enjoying the thumping of the horses beneath the hood and trying to avoid plowing down any seniors while I navigated the huge rusting beast. I began to feel slightly nostalgic and knew the only cure was a visit to my niece and nephews. There was time to kill and anything i could do to anchor my role as the favorite uncle was certainly tempting.

I pulled into the driveway and was welcomed in a way that made me quickly realized a favor was about to be unleashed. Sure enough, I was recruited as a babysitter for an hour. I sat and played with the baby and listened to her coo at my goofy noises, bounced my nephews on my knee and chased them around the house with a fake sword.

I guess I bounced Jimmy too much.

"Uncle Georgie, I gotta poop"

He scampered off to the bathroom and a few minutes later I hear a demand echo from the bathroom walls.

"COME WIPE MY BUTT, I'M DONE"

Like a good soldier, I followed the orders of my captain and finished his demands. I grabbed some tissues from the wet wipe container and got him ready. No thank you from him of course, he ran out of the bathroom before I could flush since the sound terrifies him.

Tonight I got a call from my sister in law saying Jimmy had been scratching his butt all day and had a rash. Puzzled at why this was suddenly my problem, I soon got my answer.

"You didn't use the Clorox Disinfecting Wipes did you?"

Oops.

In my defense, it did say LOW STREAK FORMULA!